You guys. I’m having some struggs. I’m really feeling stuck... and from the outside looking in it may be hard to imagine why. I mean, no one close to me has died. Everyone’s good. All is well. But, I’m feeling really quite flat and blah. I feel like I’m underneath everything and I’m at that point where I can’t quite see how to crawl out of this dark hole.
I feel crippled with uncertainty and fear. I'm riddled with anxiety, seeing the world around me only in gray scale. That ruminating fear I’ve gotten nothing right in life...the feeling of ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘nobody likes me’, ‘it’s too late’ and ‘I suck at everything’.
Does that sound like I'm living simply nourished?
I suspect I’m reaching a point of burnout and overwhelm. I feel very far away from that enlightened part of myself that never comes close to feeling so dull and full of gloom. Not only is she on the other side of the room from where I'm standing, but she’s down the hall and in the next room. To be honest, she may have left the building altogether.
It would be much easier to tell you this story in hindsight, when it has passed and I’m seemingly cured of this colossal fun-suck. It’s always easier to gain perspective...retrospectively. From that vantage point you can, at least, see the whole story. How I got to be in this dark place (all the mistakes and steps leading to it), the climax and turnaround, the happy ending followed by the moral of the story. But, I've decided to write about and share it in real time...maybe it will help others who have the same struggle to step out from the rain cloud and start living life again.
What would I say to my daughters if they were struggling to be in a good place and feeling really down? What advice have I given others? Eat well, drink more water, get plenty of rest, journal, start a gratitude list, meditate daily, exercise, do something nice for someone else. Yup. I think that’s the recipe I’ve come up with for not ever having to feel this shitty. So, what’s missing right now? I see it right away. I probably haven’t meditated, journaled or done my gratitude list, if I’m being totally honest, since we started Living Simply Nourished ...10 months ago. And, guess what? I don’t feel like doing those things. At. All. But see, that’s what this funk feels like. That old familiar feeling of not wanting to do a - n - y - t - h - i - n - g.
It seems I have two choices here. I can wait it out to see if it will pass (I don’t have time for this. I could die tomorrow and I don’t want to end on a bad note) or I can force myself to do those things that will get me to higher ground.
Let me take a moment to remember what higher ground feels like. Higher ground, to me, feels like that state of being when nothing can get you down because you’re so busy feeling awesome, you just can’t be bothered. I also feel very grounded and connected to everyone and everything. I’m Wise Jeanmare. Coming from that calm place where I have an answer to any problem. In fact, there are no problems when I’m in that space, only solutions and rerouting to a more fulfilled and meaningful life. That the Universe is always working in my favor so there’s really no need to come undone. I’m super intuitive, mindful and empowered at higher ground. It’s where all my creativity is sourced.
I just can’t get to any of that from here.
I’ve got to become the hero in this story. I’ve got to save myself because no matter how loving and kind my husband, friends and family are...it just doesn’t matter. This is an inside job, I’m afraid, and no one else can fix it. Not even Lexapro.
For the next 21 days, I’m going to commit to my formula for feeling better. I’m not exactly sure what that’s going to look like, but I’ll keep you posted.
Until then, I’ll leave you with this brilliant and uplifting 12 minute Ted talk by Shawn Achor, CEO of Good Think, Inc. and researcher and teacher of positive psychology. A good friend of mine first introduced me to The Happiness Advantage when I was going through another very difficult time. I can’t believe I haven’t shared this with you yet. It has always struck me as the most efficient and simple method I have ever found for creating happiness.
Jeanmare and Cristy are creators and contributors of the Living Simply Nourished Blog. Grab a cup of tea (or coffee!), find a cozy spot, scroll around, read some stories, find some inspiration, and enjoy!
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